It pains me to tell you that this story is true, as witnessed by a nurse friend of mine. In the middle of a child’s birthday party (the most appropriate place to tell such a story, obviously), she turns to me and says, “You’ll never guess what happened at work last night!”
Knowing she is a nurse, and pretty much anything can happen in that line of work, I readily agree.
She goes on to tell me about a mid-30’s white dude who came in with a 4 inch (in diameter) butt plug stuck inside where the sun ain’t meant to shine.
That would be like shoving a drain pipe straight up your backside. My pooper puckers just at the thought!
Apparently dude and the wifey were getting frisky when things went a little too far. Once the plug was in it made a sort of vacuum lock with the lube making it impossible to get out.
Who knows how long dude was at home impaled with the plug, freaking out. He finally came to the ER when his legs started to go numb from the plug pressing on his spine.
(Jack tells me he would have spent days taking laxatives before going to the doctor.)
One can only imagine the humility dude faced explaining the situation. The worst part? Photos were needed to document the case.
Yes, dude. There are photos of your rear-end impaled by a butt plug in your medical file.
A word of advice: Butt-plugs can be fun. There’s a bunch of nerves back there that can feel really good (on men and women), but this is a situation where bigger is truly not better. Take it to heart.
Photo: Ashley’s sex toys
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